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The sky was dark, the moon was high We were alone, just she and I Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do So with my courage, I did my best And placed my hand upon her breast I trembled and shook and felt her heart Slowly she spread her legs apart I knew...

When selling to a customer, ask for the sale and ask for it many times. It's been studied and proven that more sales are closed after repeatedly asking for it vs. making only one or two attempts at closing the deal. Here are the results of a study conducted by Dr. Herb True of Notre Dame.: 46%...

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. As you can see, use of improper grammar can make a difference between how a message is intended and how it may be received: Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store...

N.C. ...Surf's Up Dude! Buckle down and get out of the trailers. Best Wishes!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing restoration work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his...

Three Pressure Washer Contractors died and went to heaven. When they got there St. Peter welcomed them warmly and asked if they could do him a favor before they entered heaven. It seems that the Pearly gates were in need of some cleaning, and he wanted some estimates. The first contractor...

Bill Clinton practicing for his new talk show host position.

We have a new employee. This was his first new construction brick cleaning. I think he used a little more pressure than was supposed to. Judge for yourself.

Class, ….CLaass, …CLAAss, … CLAASS! …..SHUT UP! (G. Carlin) Today I would like to find out how many of you have heard of Vilfredo (Fredo) Pareto. Good, I see a few hands out there. Jon, tell me what you know of Mr. Pareto. “Well, you know …uhm, he invented the Pareto Chart. …He...

The Butler Did It! A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't...

Four Worms. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day: The first worm, in...

It's not what you say, It's how you say it! Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not...

The Lottery. A redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The redneck says, "I want my $20 million." The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread...

Subject: State Mottos... Alabama: ---- Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother Connecticut: Like...