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A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony. They Had simultaneous Headaches.

José and Carlos are beggars. They beg in different areas of town. Carlos begs for the same amount of time as José, but collects only about $8.00 or $9.00 a day. José brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free...

TSA Screenings Results Year-to-date statistics on airport screening performed by the Department of Homeland Security: · Terrorist Plots Discovered 0 · Transvestites 133 · Hernias 1,485 · Hemorrhoid cases 3,172 · Enlarged Prostates 8,249 · Breast Implants 59,350 · Natural Blondes 3

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 1 year ago, you would have $49.00 today! If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you'd have $33.00. If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers, you'd have $0.00 today. But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank all...

America is in shambles from sea to shining sea. Unemployment is at Great Depression levels. Real Estate is collapsing. The stock market is crumbling. Retail sales are vanishing. Consumer confidence is plummeting. Inflation is skyrocketing (on the products that matter- energy and food prices)...

Barter is awesome, it will always work out in our favor. Hotel Barter is the best if you run the road, it will save you thousands a year.The Gun is awesome as well.

Here are a few Before & After pictures of some work we did on the beach this weekend.

Do you have Alzheimers During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I...

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons 1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day. 2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute! 3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year. 4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot +...

Congrats !!

The tribal wisdom of the Lakota Sioux, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as...

This piece of garbage had the ball's to call senior citizens the Greediest Generation ! He compared Social Security to a Milk Cow with 310 Million teats. This prick has been on the public tit for 50 YEARS !!! I have been paying Taxes since I am 16 yrs old. Millions of Americans have been paying...

Here is one of the best one's I owned over the years.

No sound until the end. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=KZrFC988Thc

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a...

This month July has (5) /Friday's/Saturday's/and/Sunday's

Ahhh how nice to have new trailer brakes, always nice to be able to stop. I found it cheaper to put in (2) new complete 7000lb axels with brakes and bearing repak than just do the brakes and bearings. No matter how u look at it it's always a Grand to get 2 axel's done, I had one bent axel so i...