These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. As you can see, use of improper grammar can make a difference between how a message is intended and how it may be received:
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a ski lift in Taos, NM: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."
Official sign near door: "Door Alarmed." Handprinted sign nearby: "Window frightened."
Two signs found on top of one another in a country restaurant: "Restrooms to the left." "Please wait for the hostess to seat you."
At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: "Belt your family. It's the law."
Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: "Broken English spoken perfectly."
At an Applebee's restaraunt: "NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!"
In restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."
Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
Sign in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Sign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."
Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want."
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special." Below it says: "So's tomorrow."
Sign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended."
Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Regards,
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a ski lift in Taos, NM: "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."
Official sign near door: "Door Alarmed." Handprinted sign nearby: "Window frightened."
Two signs found on top of one another in a country restaurant: "Restrooms to the left." "Please wait for the hostess to seat you."
At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: "Belt your family. It's the law."
Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: "Broken English spoken perfectly."
At an Applebee's restaraunt: "NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!"
In restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."
Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
Sign in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Sign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."
Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want."
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special." Below it says: "So's tomorrow."
Sign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended."
Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Regards,
