You MIGHT Be A Redneck IF

[Apple Roof Cleaning]

your idea of life insurance is driving an F 350

 

[Apple Roof Cleaning]

You MIGHT Be A Redneck IF

You ask your wife "Honey, when we get divorced, will we STILL be first cousins"

 

[Russ Spence]

You go to family reunions to meet guys.

 

[Russ Spence]

You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.

 

[Russ Spence]

You wear combat boots with a minidress

 

[Russ Spence]

if you've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.

 

[Russ Spence]

the Orkin man tells you "Give up you've lost"

 

[Russ Spence]

people hunt in your front yard

 

[Russ Spence]

you might be a redneck if you've ever vacationed in a rest area.

 

[Russ Spence]

your belt buckle is bigger than your head.

 

[Russ Spence]

you might be a redneck if bikers back down from your mama

 

[Russ Spence]

you might be a redneck if your bicycle has a gun rack.

 

[Russ Spence]

you might be a redneck if directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"

you might be a redneck if you wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.

you actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.

you might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has a opening on the lube rack.

you might be a redneck if the neighbors have ever asked to borrow the light bulb.

you might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

you might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

you might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap.

you might be a redneck if you hold a frog and it worries about getting warts.

you might be a redneck you have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.

you might be a redneck you've ever lost your wife in a poker game.

you might be a redneck you offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

 

[Russ Spence]

what about yo mama jokes ?

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

 

[Russ Spence]

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

 

[Russ Spence]

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

 

[Russ Spence]

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money

 

[Russ Spence]

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

 

[Russ Spence]

Yo mama so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ

 

[Russ Spence]

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get off!!!